Annie Hilton's blog

My Gift from a 2 Year Old

After a week at work of being stretched in many directions; challenged and confronted with the lasting and devastating impacts of abuse and power over our most vulnerable people, I was exhausted; charged with emotion and the heightened awareness of my smallness amidst the complexities of people's lives. Throughout the week I have experienced outrage at how the violation of basic human rights goes unaccounted for. This is not new for me. But this week for some reason I found myself more than usual at the coal face being called to listen, support and hold; all the while being challenged by my white privelege and the abusive systems of power in both government and church. People's lives are in ruin. None of this is new to me. I have been working in this field for many years. What was different this week? I don't know.

My Duel with Duality

I have been feeling ashamed, depressed, unmotivated, closed off and despairing lately. A battle has been raging within. I am aware it has been going on all my life. All my life I have pushed and pushed. Now I can push no longer. I am exhausted - literally. I give up. What am I giving up? I'm giving up the duel - my battle with the duality I have created within myself.

I acknowledge the parts of myself that I despise and berate. The self that shames me; the self that lets me down; the self that shows up my vulnerability and weaknesses; the self that doesn't cope; the self that hides; the self that pretends; the self that falls ill when I am depending on myself; the self that closes off and closes in.

Living Now - Thumbs up Jason!

YAY Jason for including "Living Now" on the website. Fantastic to have another Aussie connection. I have a special connection (as you know Jason) with Living Now, as it played a very significant role in my involvement and study of Nondual Healing and Awakening. I continue to read the monthly issues so it's wonderful that others can now access and benefit from some of their articles.

My Changed Balcony View and the Queensland Floods

How quickly the view from my balcony has changed. How quickly the focus of my world has changed. We are in the grip of unprecedented flooding here in Queensland. Townships have been wiped out, inland tsunamis have destroyed everything in their path, lives have been lost, dozens of people are missing. The depth of suffering and loss is unimaginable. I cry when I see the scenes of destruction. Now from my balcony I watch the river swirl in dangerous currents and rise dramatically. It is full of debris. Rescue craft are preparing, pontoons have been moved, yachts are leaving. It is a scene of panic and preparation not knowing what is ahead. There has been so much rain and the volume of water rushing through the inland and coastal rivers and creeks has never been seen before. I am very fortunate that I am on the 4th level of my building. The lower levels of the unit block beside me are being evacuated. People and businesses all along the Brisbane River are being evacuated.

The View From My Balcony

I have spent a lot of time recently sitting on my balcony looking at the view - most of it through the veil of unceasing rain. (I live in Queensland Australia which is in the grip of devastating floods.) I am high enough up to be level with the tree tops in the park opposite. From my balcony I can engage with the activity of the birdlife - the butcher birds, willy wagtails, pee wees, magpies, currawongs, lorikeets, swallows and then the flying foxes littering the evening sky. I also watch the boats on the river - the ferrys, the yachts that are home to some, the dragonboat teams practising, the rowing teams improving their stroke, the single kayaks and the occasional luxury yacht where I lose myself in a fantasy of being onboard! I can sit on my balcony looking out at this view and feel my body and mind being soothed and calmed. The world continues to do it's work as I sit and watch it.

Dadirri-the Aboriginal way

There is an Aboriginal word, Dadirri which is a special quality and unique gift of the Aboriginal people. It is an inner deep listening and quiet still awareness. Dadirri recognises the deep spring that is inside us. In english translation we might call it contemplation but it still does not quite capture the Aboriginal meaning. The Dadirri way teaches us to be still and wait. They know that in time and in the spirit of Dadirri the way will be made clear.

Elizabeth Herman's July Forecast and Australian politics

It was very interesting listening to Elizabeth's forecast about tyranny and freedom with governments. Last week here in Australia our Prime Minister was forced from office by his cabinet. The Deputy Prime Minister challenged his position and she had overwhelming support. He was still in his first term as Prime Minister but was not accessing his cabinet to make decisions and the Labour Party's popularity was decling rapidly. Now we have our first female Prime Minister! She was born in Wales (that's info for you Leonardo).

Aliveness in the face of death

I have never 'blogged" before, nor "twittered" so I'm dipping my toe into this new experience. I was driving home from visiting my mother and was inspired to write a blog. Where did that come from?
Mum has been in a nursing home for 5 days now. She has dementia and recently broke her hip. Dad and Mum have been married for 60 years and now Dad is adjusting to living alone and not being Mum's carer. I see his profound grief and sadness and I melt with tenderness wanting to ease his suffering but knowing I cannot.